living with diabetes

today makes four days straight, Julian has crashed. The doctors have changed his insulin, twice..and he is not getting alot less then he was before. I realize i have been talking, thinking, breathing, and living nothing but diabetes.. and most of you are like i was this time last month(pretty much ignorant to what diabetes is, and how it effects every day life).

Julian's little pancreas was not producing enough if any insulin, to maintain a steady glucose levels(blood sugar). After you eat,our food is broken down by the digestive system. Through this process, nutrients become smaller so that it can be absorbed into the blood stream. One of these nutrients is glucose. As glucose in the bloodstream rises, the pancreas receives a signal to release insulin, and since Julian's pancreas isn't working( or working when it wants) he is not getting any insulin.

How many times do you look at what you, or what your kids have ate? I mean really look at it? Look at the number of carbs that are in each serving? Do you ever measure each thing he/she eats? Or sit there to watch every bite that is being consumed? Do you ever sit there after your child has picked at dinner, and try to figure out the percentage of carbs they have taken in from each portion of their dinner plate? More than likely your answer to those questions are, NEVER. I know for me at least, i never looked at those things before June 5th. I never thought twice about how many oz of juice Julian drank at dinner, much less how many carbs were in each oz. HECK, i never even know how many OZ. his cups held, haha. I had never given a shot in my life, in fact was the mom who would quint, and tear up each time Julian had a healthy baby check up that required shots.
Living with diabetes has changed our life, and has flipped out world upside down and inside out. Something as small as the phrase," Good morning" has a whole new meaning now. Each day is started with a prick to Julians finger to test his blood sugar, although I can usually tell if he is high, low, or normal before checking. Depending on where he is, determines if he needs a correction(insulin). He will eat his breakfast, i will calculate, measure his meal, and encourage him to eat as much as i can get him to. Julian is allowed to eat what he wants, as long as I could the carbs to treat him. After he is finished eating, i add the carbs plus his correction and he recieves his first shot of the day. This is one of four a day. I usually check Julians blood sugar before nap,or any other time his energy level, or attitude changes. After nap, we check it again, make meal, add carbs of meal, measure meal and again encourage him to eat. one again, treat if he needs a correction plus for his carbs. This process is done again for dinner, and night time is just a simple nightmare for mommy. I am up every hour and half to check blood sugar. Julian has been anything but stable, for explain today at 10:21 i checked him before nap, he was 330, he woke up 2 1/2 hour later crashed at a low of 47. Yes, that quick... which keeps me ragged. My job, as Julian's new pancreas, is probably the closest thing to what it feels like to actually being a diabetic. The day in and down out, lows, mood swings, planning, and dealing can be painful, scary and all around irritating. However, regardless to Julian's condition, and our new lifestyle, I am a proud mother of my 21 month old, diabetic, little boy! Julian has taken this like a champ, and has not let it get the best of him. He has been talking up a storm, and getting smarter by the day. Julian now can tell me in words just about everything he wants, or feels( hungry, tired, love) Julian tonight spelled his name in the bath tub. OKay, well let me explain,... He has the foam letters, that stick to the bathroom wall. I put him name up, letter by letter... J.. U.. L.. I said each as i put it up then went back and pointed as i said them.
Julian repeated.. Ja..u..___..EYE(pointed to his eye).. A.. N. Okay so he spelled his name Minus the L. Hahaha. I know he didn't literally SPELL it, but i was so proud that he could even do what he had just did in front me! i would say that is pretty dang impressive for a 21 month old.
Life with diabetes, is certainly not easy, but is indeed doable.. and most def. worth it. Julian is a precious, thriving little man, who has the biggest heart. I have created this blog to keep all of you, family and close friend informed on our daily life, and up to date with our family and son. If you read this, and have kept up with Julian for the last 21 months that i have written here, i assume that all of you who read this, care enough about my son to take the time to learn a little more about his condition. I hope that all of you love him enough to take this as a challenge to be informed, not only for Julian but for yourself, and others you may come in contact with.

xoxo..
enjoy

Since the hospital

Since we have been home from the hospital, our life has yet to slow down, or return to what we like to call "normal". I do not believe " normal" will ever be what we once knew it to be. Julian's blood sugars have been everything but stable since the hospital, and his insulin has been readjusted three times now. It has been many sleepless nights for this mommy! Julian's blood sugar drops so quick, I am afraid to sleep to long at a time, in fear of him bottoming out while I'm sounds asleep. If I've gotten more than 21/2 hours sleep per night, that is PLENTY. In the last three days, Julian has crashed every single day. The first day he was napping, and started whining, when i went in to check him, he was pale, shaky, fussy, and very confused. Doctor adjusted his insulin. Yesterday, he was great all day, but yesterday afternoon, on my ride home from a visit.. we hit a little traffic... Julian again bottomed out durning the ride home. And again today, durning nap time. He is now only getting 1 unit of lantus at night, and only getting .5 units of Novalog for every 50g he eats.

Despite Julian's crash, he woke in the best mood. I was in a good mood myself, and knew today would be very productive! Julian mocked me all day, if i asked him to move he would say " move" if i said " go get out my feet" he said" go! Feet" lol i say yes, he say yes etc etc etc. he was a ball of energy! And evidently, so was I! i cleaned both storage closets(both are really big). moped, vacuumed, deweeded front yard(rock yard), cut the grass in the back, deweeded flowerbed), dusted, and cooked dinner. GO me! all that in between talking to Julian's doctor, and my sissy in law about Julian's diabetes.

this afternoon, Julian was grunting pretty loud.. i said, "Juju, you gotta poop?" he said " poop!!" so i brought him to the bathroom... and yes, there Julian did in deed poop! i showed him how to flush the toilet, and as the water rose up in the toilet, Julian tried to fish out his poop..LOL.. he did not want to tell it bye bye.. he wanted his poop back! :P crazy kid! he was so proud of himself for pooping on the potty.

After eating dinner, i brought Julian up for a bath, he was full of food! In the tub, Julian looked at me and said, " ma, i love you" i couldn't believe my ears! i balled, like a big baby. those words are just what this tired, zombie, worn out, stressed to the core mommy needed to hear, my baby tell me he loved me. His words so pure, so meaningful, so sincere!
i got him to repeat it while walking down the stairs.( i didn't point the camera at him, because he always wants to play with it if he knows I'm recording)

i am such a proud mommy, of this perfect little boy!

Mommy loves you too, more and more with every beat of my heart!

home sweet home!

here are some pictures of out house!

kitchen...

dinning view from kitchen

Julian's side the living room.

living room

anyone spot Julians timeout chair?..LOL

down stairs half bath

front door

upstairs bath

Julians room standing at door...

standing at dresser

standing at window

Josh & I's been room

my side our room(my dresser, side the bed, and closet)

Josh's dresser & closet.( his is a small walk in with a light insid( perfect for him to find his clothes in the morning with out flipping on the bedroom light hahahahahha!!

and yall can dream on if you want to see my office! HAHAHA- it is a disaster! stuff that needs to go in the attic is stored in there until my hubs gets home! :) & my laundry room- yeah your not seeing that either! :P

Also, ill put pictures of the back yard up, as soon as it gets cooler and i can mow the lawn and put some molch down in my flower beds! :P

new life

As you all know, my life has been hectic.. very hectic... and well.. it all just got a little more crazy.

My mom and sister came up to visit last Thursday... they were staying until the 8th(following tuesday). Julian got sick a few days before they got here, which sucked, but he was acting better once they arrived.. just a little tired, like most are after being sick for a few days. I noticed he had been more cranky, and threw more fits. I thought this was all him going into the "terrible two's" stage. With unpacking, I picked up on the fact he was wetting his diaper more-- and just simply thought i needed to watch how much liquids i was giving him.. and be more observant of the oz's. ... Well... then i noticed he was asking for a cup non stop && was drinking it as fast as he got the cup. Still, nothing set in to much. On Friday Julian started with real itchy skin... He has a skin condition.. and i just thought i needed to lube him up real well. Then Saturday we went to the beach--.. he drank purple grape juice.. and later that day he threw it all up. It was the first time he drank grape juice, so i figured that mixed with the heat didnt sit well with him.Sunday we went on a dolphin watching tour... it was amazing, but Julian wasnt so happy. He was just cranky, but then again it happend to be at 11 oclock..his nap starts at 10-- i just figured he was wanting to sleep(which he did).. That day he crashed... he got to the point where he couldnt walk. This was the first time i put everything together..

-cranky

-thirsty

-bathroom/busting diapers

-tired

-throwing up

-itchy skin

....things that might not seem like they would relate.. did. I called my sister in law, thinking Julian might have diabeties.... but really not thinking to much about it. I do this alot, "self dianose" and most of the time im wrong so i expected that.

Leslie confirmed 3 out of all the symtoms and recommended me bring him to get checked. I did.... we went to my friends parents house who had a meter... Julians blood sugar was to high for the meter to even read.--... so this lead us to the ER..where they checked and again it was to high to read. Julian was admitted right away, we were told he was a diabetic. After getting back his blood work and urine.... we learned it was type 1 . It was heart wrenching to learn my son's life would never be the same again. He would live.. checking his blood sugar non stop, and giving himself shots after ever meal and before bed time. i knew hardly anything about this condition.. i felt overwhelmed and so emotional, yet thankful that my mom and sister were in town to love and support me through this very hard time. Julian was on the verge of diabetic coma when we reached the ER, with blood sugar levels just shy of 800. we spent 4 days in the hospital before getting to home home. 4 long- long lonnnggg days. Julian's blood sugar jumped around quite a bit.. and it was/is trial and error to figure out what works best for Julian. The rules are cut to a T, and the grey areas are just that- very grey. I hate the guessing part, but so far so good.

Josh's sister came into town to help me out. Her son also has this medical condition, so she is well educated in this area..and is able to give me alot of comfort as far as treatment at home with out a medical staff at my finger tips. We went to wal mart and bought Julians alot of snacks low in Carbs...and some that are called " free foods" that have NO carbs. they are all packed up, counted out, and labled telling me how many carbs are in each baggy to help make my lfie easier. Meal's will be a challenge for a while, along with eating out. However, Julian is such a angel, he has no problems letting me check his blood sugar or give his shots- he literally smiles the entire time. Only once has he thrown a fit, and it was because the nurse held him and held his head in a position that he could not watch. As long as he can see what I am doing, he has no problem. I think he will def. be a doctor, or at least be in the medical field after all this. :) He's such a trooper, I am beyond proud of him for being such a good kid, and giving me all the signs to bring him to the ER. Julian did have ketones in his urine, but I am very glad to annouce he is ketone free!..

We now have a medicine cabinet in our kitchen, full of about 2000-3000 dollars of supplies, and medicine for Julians care. Thanks to my amazing husband, all his does for our country- the military insurance covers every penny of it!

As I said before, our life is and will continue to be different... but we are still blessed with so many things. Our son is brilliant, sweet, loving, and just the best well rounded child... i've ever met. Josh and I will do everything we can to make his life easy and normal just like any other kid. We thank everyone for their prayers, and thank god for our blessings.

PS: Mom's... If your kid has been acting strange..go and question a doctor. Never in a million years would I have known what was really going on with Julian. It is very easily blamed on something else, or over looked!!

Over the weekend...

Over the weekend, we did alot of painting.... We were helping tabatha out in her kitchen. A few months back they found mold in her kitchen, and had to take out a few walls. Due to two kids and attending school- it's still not finished... So i decided to go over and invest some good qt with the best good friend, and help he work on it. We got alot accomplished. On Monday we went over to the pool/lake area inbetween my and the Spencers house. It was a good time with good friends, and made a few new friends as well! Here are some pictures I snapped of Julian....

Tuesday, I had to bring out car in to get the damage fixed from my accident in Louisiana. So we got a new car for a few days. With the bigger car i decided to go on the hunt for some outside toys for my boy. I got real lucky and found this cube, in awesome condition at a thrift store. He really likes it!!

So day before yesterday, Julian woke up before I did. I heard him playing in his room, but knew it was safe in there, so i was realllll slow about getting out of bed. By all means, he didnt mind- he sounded like he was having a grand ole time taking out all his books, blocks and trains... lol. SO when i went up to his door, he met me at it!.. he sprinted right past me and ran into our bedroom.. he crawled on the side rail of our bed, and was on his tipy tip toes, yellings " da da da da" I'm thinking he must have had a dream that Josh was home, because this is what he would do on weekends when Josh was home and not at work when he woke up. He really misses Josh, and ask about him every single day. Since we have been back in VA, Julian recognizes our belongings, and knows this is home.. and seems to look for Josh every where we go. He knows daddy is suppose to be here with us. I keep telling him, " soon".... but soon is still 73 days away.

Yesterday, I got Josh's father's day present in, along with my 16X20 picture of us that I put in our bedroom.. This morning when Julian woke, he came into our room( i was making the bed before my mom and sister get home). This was the first time Julian saw this picture hung in our bedroom. He got right under it, and was pointing, " daddy, daddy" .. and puckered up his lips( he loves to kiss pictures of Josh)... So i had to take this huge, poster size picture down, so he could love on it. It really does break my heart.. he loves his daddy so much. I will make my year just to know see the smile on his face when he is united with his father again.

here's a few videos..

Kissing a picture of daddy on the fridge

eating skettie..

Brushing his teeth!

enjoy! :)