Tuesday, August 13, 2013

Messages

I've fallen upon year two, of the same seasonal debate.. Preschool or No preschool. It all began to take it's toll on me shortly after Jai's birthday. Julian's little friend that was due back to  Puerto Rico,  ended up staying to attend school here in the states. This didn't make my decision any easier, as Julian already ask daily to go to school, doesn't matter if it's summer, or fall.. a week day or weekend. It was a little late to start this search, and inquire but I thought i'd give it a go anyhow.
Our starting point was his school from last year, that didn't quite work out. I called and called and called and had not got a response in over a week. Then I decided I'd text Julian's teacher from the year before... She texted back right way and told me she would do her best to get in touch with the director and let me know if there was any openings. Later that night, we made a run to walmart as a family... while standing in line, I heard a voice behind me. A very familiar voice, so I jolted around, to see who else? but Mrs. Tiffany(julians last year teacher) I had not seen her since Julian's cut short, month of preschool the previous year. What a delight to see her and be able to talk to her in person, and have Julian see her! This tipped the iceberg and had Julian more excited for "school". He hugged and loved on her and told her how he missed her, and about his friend Brian who was attending school. Finally the director got back to me, with news that was not in my favor. I was happily added as number 5 on a waiting list! :( Things weren't looking to bright for Julian, so I began to investigate other preschools. We loaded up to go visit some schools, after I priced around and narrowed the search to a handful. Our first stop was looking promising to Julian, but not so much myself. Something rubbed me wrong, and after Julian ran to their bathroom after being shortly introduced, I knew it was time to go, and felt maybe this wasn't in our best interest. Julian was throwing up, due to ketones.* we just started pumping the day before.. * I began to pintrest, ask around, and dig deeper into homeschooling Julian, as in the state of Mississippi, children aren't required to attend public school until 1st grade.(insane.. I know.. I thought so too) But this seemed to be our best option. All the other schools either had weird snack rules, were out of our price range, or was in huge classes*montessori teaching*. & I was fearful of my T1 being lost in the crowd.
two weeks into our daily 'schooling' and I found myself completely flustered, and at the point of wanting to break crayons(haha). We both HATED the 'schooling' times of the day. In-between visiting that school, & beginning my homeschooling trial- it was another walmart run when I ran into a familiar face in the diaper/wipe isle. I could not put my finger on where I knew this lady from, but I knew her some somewhere, and I wasn't about to interrupt her yanking around and yelling at the kids in the buggy to ask her. I went about my business avoiding her, when it dawned on me.. SHE WAS THE HEAD TEACHER AND DIRECTOR of the school we visited. Wow, I felt so relieved I didn't put Julian there, judging by how she was acting towards what I assume were her grandchildren. If that school wasn't already checked off my list, it now was.. so back to homeschooling, if you want to call it that. Despite how much I tried to make it fun, interesting.... Julian would still rebel. He didn't want ME teaching him, he wants to go to school. His little crummy fingernails, nails dirty from outside play, and beading sweat, he sat at the end of our driveway . I asked him what was wrong( I was feeling ample amount of mommy guilt) he told me he was waiting for the buss to come and get him. He didn't want to learn from home, he wanted to go to school with Brian and Mrs.Tiffany. I cried. I want to give my sugarbaby, a normal life. I wanted to make this work. This is when the message came to me. " Wait." " stay still" " be patient" . I stressed, prayed. cried. I knew Brians first day of school was approaching and the would unleash a whole new level of sadness in Julian's heart.
Friday before the start of school for Brian(8/12) I missed a call from the contact in my phone 'juschool'. I brought the phone in the living room with Josh to listen to the voicemail. Before pressing play, I was covered in Goosebumps and told him, this is the answer to my prayers. Sure enough.. the voicemail said..
" Hi Jonnilin. This is Mrs.Trenchard! God came to me this morning during prayer. We are combining our 3 year olds to one classroom, to have a third 4yrold room. This is the first time we have ever done such a thing, and despite you being 5th on the waiting list, it was you I had to call first to tell. If you have already found a school for Julian, we are happy for him. But if not, we'd be most glad to have him back with us. Our tuition did go up, but I will tell you more about that when you call me back. Looking forward to hearing from you."
Again. I cried. I was obedient to God, I waited, and sure enough it worked out. He made it happen, out of no where. I've never been more confident, I KNOW Julian belongs at this school. It was God's work that even made it possible this school year. So why am I so paralyzed in fear? Well, his tuition went up more then our budget allows. I know God knew this too, when he was working on this, so I should just trust him and go forward. But being the insane planner, budget following Nazi I am, I feel as if I am setting us up if I enroll him not knowing how I will afford it monthly. more hours of contemplation, and trying to plan and getting nowhere. I heard another message clearly from God. again "be still, and know I am God" " Trust me".
So despite my feelings being uneasy about the whole thing, Julian is starting school! His teacher will be Mrs. Susan, and we will be meeting with her soon during our at home visit.

This is God's plan. He has plans for the best of our interest. Be brave like Peter, and get out of the boat Jonnilin, trust in GOD! & the clear messages he has given you!

Wednesday, August 7, 2013

shedding some light, for you all.

We have made the decision to go back to pumping, to better help with managing his diabetes. He use to get staph with his pump sites, so we made a change from medal insets- over to plastic. We are very hopeful this will make all the difference! I tried to video a little to give you all an idea of what site changes look like. We do these changes every 3 days... and also change his DEXcom every 7 days.
 
 
Get supply all out & ready...
 
Filling with new insulin!
here is our new inset.
inset is in...
load new insulin into pump...and prime..
connect pump to inset.