It's been one year, 365 days and I can still feel that feeling I got when the nurse handed you to me, smell they way you smelt and remember complimenting the nurse on what they washed you with, just to be told it was "water". I had the hardest time believing that because to me you smelt like a bed of wild flowers, like heaven, the sweetest aroma I had ever smelt. It was my love for you at bliss. I remember the struggle I had with in myself to hand you over to the nurse, and that restless first night that you werent at my side, the countless calls I made to the NICU to check on you, and the worry the filled my heart every moment that you were not in my sight.The proud overwhelming feeling I felt as i was wheeled out of the hospital with you in your car seat, I was going to take my baby home!! :)Over the last 365 days i have never been apart from you! I have watched you learn to hold your head up, sit up, scoot, crawl, pull yourself into the standing position, walk and even talk. You went from being the "Jellybean" in my tummy to a infant in my arms, to now a one year old, a toodler!You love to pull the plug to your bath, get into every cabinet that is baby proof, every door that is kept shut, hoot like a monkey when watching curious george, and follow mommy and daddy around the house as we wonder. You are the most precious, perfect being I have every met. One day you will go to grade school, graduate high school, maybe go to college? the service? no matter what you do son, always know that someone is standing along side of you who will love you no matter what. You are my heart, the root of my daily joy, my first born son. I love you, Happy Birthday Julian.
i carry your heart with me(i carry it inmy heart)i am never without it(anywherei go you go,my dear; and whatever is doneby only me is your doing,my darling)i fearno fate(for you are my fate,my sweet)i wantno world(for beautiful you are my world,my true)and it's you are whatever a moon has always meantand whatever a sun will always sing is youhere is the deepest secret nobody knows(here is the root of the root and the bud of the budand the sky of the sky of a tree called life;which growshigher than the soul can hope or mind can hide)and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars aparti carry your heart(i carry it in my heart)
going in to get him out his crib! :) birthday morning

i made him a special birthday breakfast!
before we left to Mc.Donalds we let him open one present, its the shirt and new shoes he's wearing to his party on Saturday! :) Thanks Mim.



This was his first time eating fast food- HIS first happy meal! these we're my favorite as a child, i would ask for "pock.pock" evidently i couldnt say chicken nuggets, or i was too lazy too..haha.. so i would call it pock pock. :) Julian enjoyed his "pockpock" :)
ps. Thank you Joshua for working so hard to provide for us, you have given me the best gift a husband could give a wife, a beautiful child & the ability to say home and raise him! I loved the last 365 days that I was able to spend with Julian, thank you for making that possible! I love you very much, and could never thank you enough! :)