Intervention..

I am coming to a conclusion, and a solution all at once. I have a OCD,paper hoarding problem... and I am in desperate need of an intervention.

IT ALL started in Highschool...
I use to keep boxes and boxes of notes...Notes taken during class to help study, and Notes taken to avoid the bordem of the crap I did not want to study or learn. It didn't matter.. it was a note and it needed to be boxed and kept, forever. OR so I thought....


FOLLOWED by Bootcamp....
Josh then left for bootcamp, and my note hoarding contintued, and was taken to a new extreme. I laminated and binded every single letter he wrote me... and once he got out, I lamindated the ones I had wrote him. ANdddd as if that wasn't good enough, they are now binded and in a binder by the dates.( kinda like a story..)

First comes love(alll of highschool), then marriage(afterbootcamp)... Then..
Then Julian was born,
and I began to keep every birthday,valentines day, Easter, anything card... now he draws and I want to keep everything he touches with ink,crayons, paint etc. Not only that, but I try to keep everything that seems like it may have some importance. It may be junk, but if it seems like it may be important at some point.. I keep it. Weeks, months, pass and Ithink I'm in the clear and those documents weren't as important as I thought.. so I toss them..( rarely..usually they just relocate) 8 out of 10 times i don't need them..and its a good thing i lost/relocated them.. or tossed them. but then theres always that small chance it turns out I did indeed need the dog on paperwork, and the irony is.. it is just days after being tossed that i NEED the son ofa gun..

Today is one of those days. Josh texts me saying he needs a document that I just saw a few days ago.( see my hoarding papers do sometimes turn up to be important, im not totally crazy.) I tear my entire house upside down, and inside out... couldn't find what he needed to save my life..and the shit hits the fan. I couldn't take it anymore, I needed intervention. 3 drawers of JUNK/PAPERS. a TRUNK under my bed full of cards, and CRAP, an unorganized accordian of drawings/more PAPERS and documents, not to mention my kitchen actual JUNK drawer, and a shelf in my laundry room with 3 folders of randomness. I know.. sounds terrible. I am such a clean organize freak..one would never guess, but here it is people.. the skeleton from my closet.  BLAH. I threw away soooo much stuff.. weeded through it all. 3 cups of coffee, even had to take a anti anxiety pill...and  2 hours later I'm finished.(& still didn't find what I needed.) I was having massive anxiety from the mess i was creating while searching, and the fact that i was throwing crap away.. why? not because i care about any of it, but because i don't want later for me to need it, and get myself in trouble with my husband for throwing something" important" away(i get no credit for hoarding it for months and months..LOL. bc when its needed im suppose to be able to produce it, ha ha ha)

Anywho. I am done searching,organizing and cleaning. I have had an intervention and pray to god that my old habits don't come back to haunt me. Im feeling wayyyyyy better and no longer to anxious..thank you god for medication..haha. and the boys and I had a lovely day outside.....


In case any of you care about my organized junk drawer.. lol.. && of course here are some pictures of my cute kids, that make reading this blog(and all my ranting) worth it...

Julian has proven to have himself quite the green thumb! He has planted his garden a week ago, and is very proud to announce to everyone, that HE indeed is growing a cucumber plant! :)

Yes, Time to time im lazy, and Jai does wear throw aways.. lol.. but look past that,
                                                my boys playing with leaves and bugs. lol

Jai making music with pots and a spoon while I cleaned up a little and prepped dinner.

 All while Ju practiced playing Frisbee. Daddy came home and played too!

 thats all. :)

Locks Of Love

I'm blogging again, because something has been on my mind and heart for quite a number of days.. and I am feeling brave, so it seems like a good time to commit.

I have been inspired...and want to walk in the foot steps of a new,amazing friend of ours. I want to donate my hair to Locks of Love.

 

Even as I type, now even saying it aloud, I sound crazy. Everyone knows I have long hair.. period. Yes, I have cut my hair short a hand full of times in my life..

once when I was about 10 weeks pregnant with Julian ( think my nerves got the best of me and I needed to feel in control of something..haha I'm insane.)

Another time was months after I had Julian, I think he was over a year, or maybe right under a year? I cut it in an inverted bob....really short. I maintained that hair cut for a while..

Needless to say Both times I cut my hair I was over weight... first time not as much as the second, obviously.. but over weight none the less. I blame that on the reason i disliked my hair, it made my face look fat?! Or so I convinced myself, now looking back I'm sure my face looked fat, because I was fat.. simply put. I hated myself afterwards. I regretted cutting my hair.. and wanted it back long almost instantly. Swore up and down I would never cut it again. Made Josh promise to threaten to divorce me if I tried to cut it again.

 

BUT either way.. overweight or not. Fat face .. or not.. This is a act of kindness. Expressing compassion, Love and selflessness. I am committing to cutting at least 10 inches off my hair after the wedding I am standing in next month. Josh isn't fully on board and supportive yet, He loves my long hair more then I. But I am sure he will come around, and I am sure the cut will grow on him,(&hopefully he doesn't divorce me haha) I am very nervous about doing this... and each time I think of it( at least 10 times daily) I remind myself that there is a sweet child in a hospital bed, fighting for his/her life with beaten confidence as he/she has lost their hair, or is in the process of losing/growing hair. I don't want to be that selfish, shallow girl, who cant give up a security blanket, TEMPORARILY. HAIR. it grows back, Jonnilin.  I have a yearn in my heart to help a child I don't know. I want to make a small difference in his/her life, and help them through a medical struggle, life battle, time of need.

 

Social media...Angie Smith.. Must read!

I am not going to jump on here and be a big hypocrite...because, truth be known... a few weeks ago I was guiltyyyyyyyyyyyyy as charged! However, I found my desire growing very dull for social media for a number of reasons.
1) to much drama
2) I felt that I knew to much about others(& they knew to much about me as well)
3) Found myself getting/feeling really ugly towards people whom I would get irritated with, after they posted 18 million pictures of them self in the same outfit,same room, and in a slightly different pose. Yes, I am guilty here to, I realize this...& am thankful for the others doing it.. because it helped open my eyes about myself, and what I was doing as well.
4) I was spending way to much time on my cell phone. My battery life always died before noon.(pretty clear sign that there is a problem)
5) Distraction..from the most precious people, and time in my life..my children & their childhood. & I'm bout to be starting back for the summer semester.

Its been since the 24th that I've been gone from Facebook & couldn't be happier. Absolutely do not miss it one BIT!  I have still continued on instagram, but slowly but surely considering deleting that to. It not nearly as distracting, but just as addicting. Thankfully.. the people i follow don't update regularly like ones would on facebook... so i cant check it nearly as often.

Have I said how much I Adore Angie Smith? I think if I could be like any woman on earth...I choose her!
Wonderful, Strong, Beautiful, Spiritual, Loving, Caring, Brilliant woman..wife...mother..& servant of God. Since I'm blogging again I've been working on catching up on her blog. Finally.. I'm caught up.. & her most recent post hit so close to home that i want to share it...
here it is.... Read it. Enjoy it. Follow HER.. she is amazing.

http://angiesmithonline.com/2013/03/youre-not-a-prop-subtext-series/

Garden growing

Yesterday fun... It was such a pretty day and we were up and at em early! Headed to our appointment for 9:00 and was finally out and completely done around 11:00. We came home and hadlunch...followed by the boys getting a much needed nap! Juju simply is not a morning person like his momma- & jai is a little roster and wakes @ the crack of dawn... However he'd missed his morning nap so I had two very unhappy boys on my hands. I was able to accomplish so much done while they slept, but it felt as if they slept forever(even though it was only 1.5 hour) I actually was starting to get lonely, when I finally heard Jai's big mouth yelling for attention.... Shortly followed by Julian's groaning as he stretched.

We then went out to enjoy the beautiful day...knowing the days to come wouldn't be oh so pretty. We finished momma's garden & even worked on Julian's garden that grandmas gave him in his Easter basket! He checked back on his garden numerous times waiting for it to "grow"... Haha so impatient. Almost as impatient as I am for my garden to produce veggies!!!

Meanwhile, little jai just hung out in his pack n play! He doesn't mind being caged, as long as he has snacks, a sippy cup and toys...oh and if your with in his eye sight range!

I'm so glad I've been keeping my camera handy- again yesterday I caught some precious moments of the boys loving on one another!

Hoppy Easter everybunny

I am still getting use to using my camera again, so bare with me.

 

Mother in Law came up Friday to spend the Easter weekend with us! And husband had planned for us to have a long over due night out, big thanks to MIL for keeping the boys! Josh and I had dinner at a local place in downtown oceansprings.  It was such a nice get away and at first was kinda weird it just being us, with no kids to feed, correct, or take to the bathroom haha. We bar hopped a little in the area then headed to billiards to play some pool. Never had I played... but man it was fun & I got the hang of it!

 

Following the fun of friday, we had the danfords come over to celebrate Easter a day early. Guys played darts, drank, boiled crawfish..while use ladies enjoyed the weather, watching the kids open their Easter gifts, and dye eggs. Oh and talked plenty baby talk, of course.

 

 

 

 

Ju & Avery truly had a blast together. I absolutely adore that their 15 month age gap has closed up! They get along so well now, and are able to really play with out much worry. They played powerwheels, trains, bubbles, and played MUD. lol

 

Easter day, i woke with a horrible sore throat at 4am. i sucked it up to make it through church, but honestly as the hours past i felt worse and worse. By church(12 noon) i was getting chills, cold sweats, having body aches and my throat was still throbbing. Made it through an amazing service!!! and after we continued to the park/beach for our picnic. i had all intentions on taking family pictures there, but by then, i couldn't hardly bare. No pictures were taken :(..

We came home where I crashed and didnt get back out of bed until late that night. I am still feeling a little iffy today, but much better then i was yesterday.

 

**note** i am not sure how i managed to not get a picture of my MIL, but sincere apologies to her.. she was such a great help this weekend, and we had such a lovely visit. im awfully sorry not to have caught you on camera.