Praising God

As most of you already know, this baby has been a miracle from the very beginning, and it continues to remind us of how big of a miracle he/she is!
My doctor's appointment was very scary on Friday, I was up 2 hours early, and already dressed. My anxiety was through the roof, and into a different atmosphere. After arriving to my appointment, of course the waiting room was more busy then i've ever witnessed.  A HOUR AFTER my appointment time, we finally got called to the back. The nurse asked what was going on, since she remembered seeing me just that Monday. I told her, and she went to get my records off the computer, from the ER. Of course her coming back in and giving me the low down, on risk, what to expect in worse case scenario.. i was a emotional wreck, and crying the nile river. First off, the ER doctor gave me in accurate information. I have/had? a subcronic hemorrhage measuring 1.9 cm. ( yes, that seems very small, but do remember...EVERYTHING is very small right now) Subcronic Hemorrhage is still a very serious condition, but not as sever as a abruption. However,from my understanding & research, Subcronic Hemorrhage can in some cases later become a abruption. After the nurse let me in on this news, I did not feel any better, being the risk factors are the exact same.  We had to wait back in the waiting room until the ultrasound room was open( anxiety going right back up) & to make matters worse Josh had to leave to go back to work, for his appointment at 1pm.( at this point its 12:30 and we've been at the doc. since 10:50ish).
Thank God my sister in law (Cherish&Avery) was already on her way up to spend the day with me and help out with Julian. She met me at the doctors and stayed with me for the rest of the appointment just as support in case the news was not in our favor. After another (lifetime) of waiting they finally called us to the Ultrasound room. I seriously thought my heart was going to leap right out of my chest. I felt so torn on to be excited(like most moms feel to see their baby) or to feel terrified( in case things had gone terribly wrong in the past few days). 
The tech was super nice, and very thoughtful. She did the scan firstly showing us that the baby had a beating heart! (161 bpm) she showed us around a little, then went to looking for this hemorrhage. After looking for a while, she turned on  the light, reread the ER report, and went back to scanning& looking. N-O-T-H-I-N-G! No sign, evidence, nothing. No Subchorionic hemorrhage, no abruption.. nothing but my healthy baby bouncing around in there, while looking like the precious little miracle that he/she is!!!!! :) The tech continued to scan me just for the fun of it, now that the tension has eased and i could enjoy it and be excited! She kept going in between the legs, so of course i had to ask.. what it' look like!? &&& she said, it looks like a BOY!! Yes, it is very early, & that little turtle can change into something else.. but i guess we may know in two weeks when im 15 weeks & go for the next appointment/scan! :) This news made my day, my year!!!!! And im so glad to have had such an amazing tech there to give me that news && to have the support of my sister in law in the exam room! :) im so very thankful!
&& we went back to the waiting room until i could get into a room to see my doctor AGAIN. He checked me, and basically told me.. what ever was there is ' gone'! but it does not mean im completely out of the woods yet. There are still plenty of risk, and im still going to be monitored very closely from here on out, still considered high risk for miscarriage, pre term labor, abruption, etc.
I am still on moderate bed rest & pelvic rest- but so what... i can deal with that! I've been HEALED. my BABY IS OKAY!!

See his/her little profile? cute little nose? and all five fingers! The tech would switch to show us 3D and it kept it's hands up by its face!

I am forever greatful for everyone's prayers! Please continue to pray that things stay going smooth for us!

Thats my update! :) a happy update! PRAISE GOD!

where are you tomorrow? oh yeah- only a day away?

I feel as though I can not wait for tomorrow to hear what the doctor is going to tell us. Not sure which emotion I want to feel, but I am praying for good news! I have been in the bed since 6 am yesterday, and have only been up to use the bathroom, or this morning to fix Julian's breakfast. I have no lifted a finger in the house, infact the most i have done was sit on the edge of the bath tub to shower. The bleeding has slacked off a great deal, and stays gone for the most part- as long as I'm not on my feet or moving around very much. Who knew you could get headaches from doing NOTHING? (I surely didnt.) My headache the past two days has been the only physical pain i've had, thankfully!

I am trying my best to keep positive and remember my God is capable of all things! I will be sure to update the blog after my appointment tomorrow to make sure all of you are kept updated. Please continue to pray for healing, and strength for my body and little baby.

On another note-

Julian is yet another inch closer to being a pump user! Children's has done their part, and now we are waiting for my insurance company to approve(which they will). Once that is done, we will pay our out of pocket expense, and order his pump! We even get to pick the color! :)  So we are down for the count.. maybe 2 weeks? eek. cant wait for my little man to get a break from all the shots!

Don't forget us in your prayers, Please! 

eventful night

Going to keep this as simple as i can, and as non- graphic as possible.

At 4am i was woken with a gush of what I just KNEW was amniotic fluid, and soon after a mix of blood too. After consulting my doctor, he requested that I go into the ER to be checked. In the ER they did some basic test- Urine Sample- which obviously had blood in it. Some blood work, and a ultrasound. The ultrasound was going to be the test that would give the most information. The tech wasnt able to give me any information on the results, but did tell me the baby was moving around! After what seemed like a lifetime, the ER doc came in and told us that my placenta is low lying, and it appears I have a placenta abruption. Which means there is a tear that is separating the placenta from the uterus wall. This is what is causing the whole bloody mess. I really wish i had more information, but i dont. All i know is that per my doctors orders, im to get as much rest as i can, take it easy, no sex, no lifting, no exercise, no standing on my feet for any period of time. He told me the most he wants me doing is caring for Julian( fixing his means, and cups.. the simple things) and if i have help to even avoid doing that. There is a chance that the tear can heal itself, but we dont know that for certain. I am still losing blood, but it isnt as much since i've been in bed since 6 am. We are not sure what caused this to happen, but praying that it heals, and that I can continue to carry out baby until term! My doctor is now considering me a higher risk pregnancy, and will be seeing me more frequent, especially later in the pregnancy. I have another appointment on Friday, and ultrasound to check and see where we are at, so i should know more then. I'm steadily praying for a miracle and would like nothing more than for you to join me in that prayer. We are very anxious, and terrified for what tomorrow might bring, but keeping our faith, bc with god all things are possible. Please remember us in your prayers!

two doctor appointments in one week!

It has been a very busy week for our little family! We have had two VERY important doctor appointments, one for Julian & one for myself.

but this picture has nothing to do with our appointments- i just cant resist how cute my son is! hahaha

 On Friday, after waiting since December 19th.. we finally got a appointment with the nutritionist and pump specialist! While there they put a pump site on Julian's belly and he was certainly not a fan. But after a while he begin to warm up to the idea, and eventually forgot it was even there. This was sorta a trial to see how Julian would do with the real pump site.

While there, they also uploaded Julian's pump and helped us to make some important decisions about his insulin intake, and played around with some numbers. Julian is now getting 1/2 unit for every 10grams of carbs, BUT ONLY for breakfast. We are also giving Julian a nighttime snack, filled with slower carbs( to help avoid night time lows)
After our appointment, we met with Grandmaw and Mawmaw for some Lunch!
Julian couldn't wait to show them his pump site. This picture is him showing Mawmaw.

                                                                Yay, we are so close!

                                   And Julian ran out to show Grandma his pump site too!!

 and it didnt stop there-- he showed random strangers in Raising Canes! hahahaha. he was sooooo proud! he would say," Yay no more shots!!!! My belly is FIXED!" SO cute. He wore his pump site all weekend, and did great.(we took it out sunday) && the adjustments we did in the office have been working out beautifully!

This afternoon, I had a OB appointment! It was the first time Josh would be able to come to a appointment with me, & Julian too! I was excited Just for them both to be there and have the chance to share it with me, since Josh missed the first pregnancy all together. My doctor is amazing, and im so blessed to have fallen into his care(since i just randomly picked a doctor). We talked about somethings, and he told me he was changing my due date to Aug 7th! He also told me he wants to test me for gestantional diabetes twice this pregnancy, because of how BIG Julian was at birth. He then said," so im guessing your wondering when is the next time you can see baby?" lol he read my mind-
:) and suprised me with meeting me in the ultrasound room! :) :) :) yay!
Right when he put the probe on my belly- the baby did this big bounce! and was moving all over!!! It has grown so much in the past few weeks! it has all it's finger and toes, heart rate in the 150s, full blown arms and legs! only thing we didnt get to see was the 'private' parts or it's face. Julian was very excited and made sure to tell the doctor that was his baby bruder!

^ see the fingers :) waving to big brother!

One more week until we are throught with the 1st trimester :) :)

Growing into a family of FOUR!

After trying to conceive for what seems like a lifetime,(two years). Being Josh would work out to sea sometimes, our "trying" would be interrupted, plus a ectopic, left me battered and in a state of self pity. Three months before our move to Mississippi, I gave away ALL baby items. Bassinet, swing, clothes, bouncer, boppy pillow, ... etc. I kept EVERYTHING from Julian, in hopes of giving him a sibling close in age.

Not being in our new home exactly ONE month & FIVE days.. I found out! Had one sick night, plenty of sleepiness ,bloating and a late cycle..  Josh was totally convinced I was pregnant. Of course after so many months of not having that second line- or reading,'not pregnant' I had developed a burning hate for peeing on sticks. I had to bring him to work on Wed. Dec. 7th and on the way Josh told me to stop at CVS, to get bottled water & a pregnancy test. I did so, but since he was going out of town for three days, i secretly was going to still want for my period and prolong peeing on that damned thing.  He begged me to use the bathroom at his office( he knew it). However, im stubborn and was sure that i was NOT preggo. After dropping him off, and driving back home.. I had a very full bladder & since there was two in the pack i figured what the heck. So I did it...and there was a very clear- BEAUTIFUL, LONG AWAITED second pink line! I tossed Julian back in his carseat and hurried over to catch Josh before going out of town. His was so excited!!! but no so surprised since he had a feeling I was! Julian also seemed to know something. Days before I found out- I was cleaning the spare room, and making the bed with clean sheets. Julian walked in and asked me,

Julian: mommy, what you doing?

me: im making the bed for grandma to come visit. this will be her room while shes here.

julian: noooo.

me: yess...

julian: no mommy, this is brudders room.

^ never have we told him this room would ever be a baby room, much less a brothers room. Hmm? perhaps he knows im having a BOY??

Since this day, I have had two ultrasounds & heard the baby's heart beat! Josh & I are so happy with my new OBGYN & the hospital we will be delivering at, Biloxi Regional.

    Here is our little baebae. At this appointment it measured 8w3d(i believe) && the heart rate was in the 160s!